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All cultures find weddings to be a wonderful occasion. The Italians view weddings to be particularly important and an extremely special affair. From beginning to end, the preparation for these ceremonies incorporated many tradition, some of which still take place in modern times.

In the past, it was not uncommon for a male relative of the groom to go to the future bride’s father or uncle to discuss the notion of marriage. Periodically, a messenger would be sent with a message making the bride’s parents aware of the groom’s intent to marry their daughter. On a rare occasion, the groom had a desire to propose directly to the woman himself. He did so by serenading her before bestowing a diamond ring, thought to be produced by the flames of love. Once the two families were in agreement, the couple’s official engagement was declared.

The bride gathered a collection of domestic goods including clothes for both her and her future husband, linens and other household items to bring to the grooms home before the wedding. Bridal showers were held at which the bride obtained money and other gifts from family and friends. A monetary gift is also given by the parents of the bride.

As with Americans, the custom of having a bachelor or bachelorette party before the wedding is shared by the Italians. However, in Southern Italy this tradition is not normally carried out by either the bride nor the groom.

Most brides would wear green the evening before the ceremony. It was believed that being clothed in this color would bring luck and abundance to the groom and herself in the future.

Old church traditions strongly advised against uniting in marriage unless it was auspicious. Couples were forbidden to enter the matrimonial state during Lent and Advent. The months of May and August were also established to be inappropriate when choosing a wedding date. May was prohibited out of respect for the Virgin Mary and August was believed to bring misfortune and malady. Sunday’s, except during the months mentioned above, were presumed to be the most fortuitous.

Wearing a veil to protect her from harmful spirits, the bride frequently arrived to the wedding mass late. Her tardiness, depending on how many minutes, had significant meaning to the groom. Legend had it that the groom should carry a piece of iron with him to fight off the evil that may be drawn to him due to his blissful circumstance. At some Italian weddings today, they release a pair of white doves into the air exemplifying devotion and blessedness.

At the reception, the best man welcomed the guests with alcoholic beverages. Strong drinks were served to the men and sweet liquors to the women. The drinks were served before the dinner, giving everyone the opportunity to salute the newly wed couple.

The luxurious wedding brought together the family and friends of both the bride and groom to rejoice, marking the beginning of their new relationship. The focal point of an Italian wedding has always been the food. When the multi-course dinner was served, it sometimes consisted of more than 14 different courses. The antipasto which included foods such as olives, mortadella, stuffed mushrooms and calamari, was served first. Wine and other beverages accompanied the extensive feast. Afterwards, wedding cake was offered with coffee or espresso. Long ago, taking the place of wedding cake, decorated boxes or bags filled with sugared almonds, called confetti, were sent to the guests. The number of confetti presented was often five, representing health, wealth, happiness, fertility and long life. Today, these bridal favors are commonly handed out by the bridesmaids to family and friends as a token of love and a way to remember the couple’s special day. However, they are from time to time embellished with flowers or ribbons and used as a fashionable place setting.

As you can imagine, the cost of a traditional Italian wedding could be very expensive. The bride’s family was responsible for the financing of this grand event. To slightly ease this heavy burden, the bride would carry a satin bag in which guests would place envelopes containing money. When not in the bride’s possession, the purse was guarded by her grandmother or mother. At some receptions, all the men would dance with the bride, having to deposit money into the purse in order to do so. They would also all kiss the bride, making the groom jealous, but more importantly bringing good luck to the new man and wife.

There was also another popular custom that often took place in an effort to collect money for wedding expenses. The best man would cut the groom’s tie into tiny pieces. They would then be sold to the guests at the reception. The money received was used as a contribution to help pay for the band. It is customary today, that the grooms family assist in paying for part of the cost of a lavish, traditional wedding.

During the reception, friends of the groom would sneak away from the festivities to play practical jokes on the wedding couple. Some of the more common pranks were to put itching powder in their bed, or to nail their front door closed, making it difficult for them to enter.

In some parts of Italy, frequently in the southern regions, the bride and groom would shatter a glass or vase at the end of their wedding day. The amount of pieces it cracked into, symbolized the number of years they would be happily married.

“Per cent’anni!!!” (for a hundred years).

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